The True Key to Happiness: Be Selfish

Lately I have been justifying myself with the ever-so-popular, "I would (insert fun activity: meet up with an old friend, go to a new yoga class, go out in general, etc.) but I have just been extremely busy and can't find the time" excuse. We are all subject to this justification for not having enough time because we are fixated with the notion that being extremely busy--to the point where we don't even have the time to do the things that really make us happy--will be the true key to happiness. The reality is we need to make enough time for ourselves.

Point and case: my last semester at Auburn (war eagle!) I was taking 18 hours of classes (the maximum allotted amount of hours), worked about 20 hours, was in a sorority, woke up early almost every morning to work out, all while attempting to maintain a somewhat normal active social life. I became frustrated with the fact that I was doing it all, but never fully satisfied. Then my ah-ha! moment came to me: although I was doing everything I wanted to, I wasn't finding true happiness because I was not doing these things for me. Now, I am fully aware that my ah-ha! moment isn't anything profound and that you've probably heard it a million times over, but I ultimately realized that things were not going my way due to a lack of selfishness (a theory your second grade teacher probably never taught).

Believe-it-or-not, even after such a hectic semester, I've been having a difficult time winding down over the break. I still feel the need to constantly be busy i.e. working at Cusp, running errands, working out everyday, reading, writing--all things that do indeed make me happy, but I am doing them without myself in mind. This post is a true testament of doing something for me. I have been writing when I feel like I actually want to and there isn't the pressure of a deadline looming over my head. This blog in general has been something I have always wanted to do but, say it with me, "I never had the time." So over the break, I started this blog, for me; a written reminder that it is O.K. to be (mindfully) selfish.

Put the pen down &back away from the planner

Today I had the day off of work and so last night I started writing my to-do list in my planner. When I was literally "nose-deep" in my planner (see picture) I put down the pen and forced myself to be selfish. I decided rather than my normal early wake-up time I was going to sleep in until noon and go to Mariann's 1:00 2Hot yoga class. Maybe that sounds ridiculous to you, but I have trouble sleeping in because I feel as though I have lost valuable time, when in reality all I am losing is valuable sleep. My life does not have to revolve around a set schedule, and being spontaneous can liven things up a bit!

After yoga, I came home and made a delicious lunch and indulged in lots of reality t.v. (woo) I even took a long nap (I know, so spontaneous, right?) And when I was burdened with thoughts of you need to "drop off the dry cleaning" or "you really ate a lot, you should go for a run" I just let them go. I actually listened to my body and when I felt tired, instead of chugging coffee, or forcing myself to run, I took a nap. I also tend overstress about forgetting to call people and constantly worry about what other people think. Of course you need to have compassion for others but you must not let other people define your life. Maybe your stress vices aren't overexercising, overcaffeinating, or overcompensating for past mistakes but sometimes we all push our bodies further than they should go, both physically and mentally; we need to just let it all go and focus on the present.

So this break I have been determined to follow this piece of advice instilled by many of my yoga instructors, "let go." Seemingly so simple, yet one of, if not, the hardest things for us to do. At the end of practice Mariann said, "If your mind is still wandering focus on your breath and just let go to all of your thoughts. Inhale let and exhale go."

My Quintessentials

O.K. so I've always been a little neurotic when it comes to writing in general, so I obviously am a huge advocate of planners, but I've found that electronic planners just don't do it for me and I much prefer physically writing down my schedule, notes, lists, etc. I have been through my fair share of planners and none of them compare to the Lilly Pulitzer Agenda. Generally, I am not a huge Lilly fan, but this planner has it all! Not only does it have a monthly calendar, but it has a weekly calendar which gives me tons of room to write down my assignments, yoga classes, work schedule, etc. Along with added fun extras such as a "dates to remember," "reasons for a party," contacts, notes, and even stickers! 
...Alright, so I'm a nerd for getting way too into this, but honestly this planner is the best!

The next thing I cannot live without is non-chip manicures! Shamefully, I am a nail biter, so regular manicures last me about three days. The non-chip manicure has become my remedy to nail biting and my last one stayed on for almost an entire month! However, I have found that the best brand by far is the OPI Axxium Gel. I experimented with another brand and it came off in about three days! A manicure that lasts a month versus three days--clearly there's no comparison!

And you will rarely spot me without my Synergy Kombucha Tea. I will admit, the first time I tried it during my first detox I was not that in to the drink, but now my body actually craves kombucha tea! I have so much more energy and it helps my cravings. I usually enjoy one after a meal, because the enzymes and probiotics found in the kombucha tea help aid in breaking down the food and speeding up your metabolism. Recently, the Synergy brand in particular was recalled for labeling purposes and I went through a major "Synergy withdrawal." I tried a bunch of different brands, but Synergy is by far my favorite!

Snowed In

With yoga mat and yogitoe in hand, she is determined.

Post Christmas day chaos, I am ready for my favorite Sunday morning yoga class. I surprisingly find little trouble getting out of bed this morning (a feeling that is reminiscent of childlike excitement on Christmas morning) because one of my favorite instructors, Mariann, is teaching her kick-butt hot vinyasa flow. She has been gone the past holiday week (so her arrival has been much anticipated).I wake up throw on my favorite Margarita yoga pants and pair them with a mint green Lululemon tank. Just as I am grabbing my tie-dyed Yogitoes and step out the door, I am confronted with mounds of freshly fallen snow and with my Mom--shovel in hand--attempting to alleviate the plethora of snow. 

My car is basically buried and when I open the door a huge, icy clump falls on to my seat, but my determination prevails! After frantically scraping off the windows, I throw my car into reverse. Despite the (deceiving) fluff-like quality of snow, it still has me trapped. Frustration washes over my thoughts as I think about all of the precious sleep, er I mean, time I have lost over a situation that was clearly a lost-cause from the beginning. Even more-so, disappointment sinks in when I come to terms that I will not be able to go to Mariann's class this morning. 

What I deem as the "frustrated to disappointed cycle," (being the worldly psychologist that I am) plagues all of us; yet it is the way we decide to handle these frustrating/disappointing situations that can determine whether we have a positive or negative outcome--clearly a simple concept, right? But when faced with not getting what we want these trying experiences, we are so easily coaxed in to getting upset over simple matters. I just love the irony of me becoming all huffy and puffy because I could not go to a yoga class. So now I see this morning's burden as my blessing in disguise, for it inadvertently reminded me of my favorite yogic moral--to find the calm in an uncomfortable situation--sans the mat and instructor!

Happy Holidays with Tory!

With  

I have a slight addiction to anything Tory Burch so with my first ever post I give you something to spread a little holiday cheer!